Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I Am Sick of Your Feelings

The past two weeks have been sort of like "A Thanksgiving Carol" in that I've been visited by the Ghosts of Relationships Past and Present. I'm just waiting for the Ghost of Relationship Future.

To all of these ghosts I have but one message: I am sick of your feelings. From here forward, I would like to be the girl in the relationship.

Big N claims that she attracts "mama's boys", well I seem to attract overly sensitive/emotionally disturbed boys. It's tiring. They whine. A lot.

Boyfriends past have called recently and want to tell me their problems, and I feel like if I'm not dating you, I shouldn't have to hear your crap. Tonight as I informed sort-of-dating-guy (aka ghost of relationship present) that our non-relationship was over, I had to listen to him for 15 minutes before I could manage to get a word in. It was all philosophy of life blah blah blah. When I did finally get to deliver the news, then he had the nerve to insist I was crying! I almost couldn't hide my laughter.

I hope the Ghost of Relationship Future presents someone as emotionally remote as myself. The sort of guy who is content to spend evenings where neither of us talks about how we feel.

[SIGH] Sounds delightful.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Tom v. Tom

One of these Tom's is not like the other. See one Tom is Tom Chaplin of "Keane", the other Tom is the Tom who is my sister's boyfriend. We are all convinced that they are dopplegangers. Or twins separated at birth. Or whatever.

Here's the evidence:

1) They're both British.
2) They're both snazzy dressers (at least some of the time).
3) They're hair is nearly the same and they're both adverse to hair product.
4) Lips and nose look the same to me.
5) Cute as buttons!

My sister and I are not the only ones who think that these Toms look alike. A friend of my-sister's-Tom even once called him during a Keane concert and drunkenly said "Dude, you're on stage." Which only confused my-sister's-Tom.

Is it wrong that I find Tom Chaplin cute? Does the fact that he looks like my sister's boyfriend make this sick and wrong? (No, I am not after my sister's boyfriend.) Do you know which Tom is which?

I can say from first hand experience that my-sister's-Tom does at least have a good sense of humor. He and my sister have invented an activity they call "The Red Neck Rollercoaster." This requires: tequila, a truck, and hilly property -fortunately all items we have. So sis and Tom will partake of the tequila, then have one person drive the truck at mach speed over the hills while the other is laying down in the pickup bed. I think my sister dislocated her arm doing this. Tom's only concern? "Won't your father be upset that we've ruined his garden?" My sister's response: "A field is not a garden."

After he and my sister saw Talladega Nights they both called me excitedly. Since my parents are dragging us to North Carolina for Christmas this year, he's hoping we can go to a NASCAR race while we're there. And also to Applebee's.

I told him we can only go to Applebee's if he promises to get us thrown out.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

AISL Has A New Look

I couldn't take the dots anymore OK?!

At first I loved the dots. But lately the dots and the blue background (even though blue is my favorite color) -I just couldn't take it anymore. I don't know if I'm hormonal, if it's because exams are approaching and I'm stressed, or what. At any rate, a change was due and I decided I needed a template that's a little less seizure-inducing.

The original template was a group decision. When this blog was first started, it was supposed to be something all my law school friends contributed to, so that our non law-school friends could understand the hell that is lawschool. When we all agreed on the template we all thought that is was "hip" and "graphic-ey." Now it's just "dots" and "annoying". Not to mention that after about one entry this group project pretty much just turned into my little rant space, despite the fact that it this was not my idea (it was EZ's). In fact, when the idea was suggested I'm pretty sure my exact words were "Blogs are stupid."

Clearly, the joke's on me. Anyway, if you like the new format, feel free to weigh in. If not, well screw you, I probably don't like you anyway.

Don't Honk If You Ain't Got Nothin' To Back It Up

So I live on a very busy street. It's one of the few well paved streets in NOLA and therefore it's always brimming with traffic. Since the hurricane the traffic flow has only increased and quite often there are trucks of workmen.

On Tuesdays and Thursday I head to class at 7:45 in the am. And invariably I get a honk as I'm getting in my car.
Sometimes it's a few short rapid fire honks. It's not even eight am yet and these dudes are seriously honking at me. In fact, as long as its light out, I pretty much always get a honk. Sometimes a catcall to boot.

And like a schmuck, I look up every single time. This is because every once in a while it's a friend of mine driving past who's honking to say "hello." But the other 98% of the time it's just some douche bag hassling me.

It would be one thing if I got a honk on the days I feel like I'm looking good. You know, if I sauntered out in a slinky dress or something. But no. It's not even related to how I'm actually presenting myself. Look like crap for class - get a honk. Take out the trash in my sweats - get a honk. Dresss up for clinic - get a honk. You get the idea.

And you know, it's getting to the point where the honks are really starting to grate on my nerves. Especially at 7:45 in the morning, there's nothing quite as jarring as a loud carhorn. You are an extra idiot if you bother to yell something at me at this hour, which, by the way, I cannot hear over the noise of the traffic. This is exactly the sort of thing that has a way of starting my day of on the wrong foot.

And honestly what purpose is served by the honk? Do you, honking men of NOLA, expect me to chase your car down the street in a fit of ectasy as a result of your honk? Or am I expected to take down your license plate, get a police friend to run the number, and then hunt you down? Can we truly build a relationship based on your cat call?

The answer to all of these is "No." No purpose is served by the honk. So can we have a moratorium on them? Unless you want to stop, pull over and ask me to dinner, then I think you should leave me alone.

Thank you.