Dear AMC Movie Channel

Hey there, AMC.

From what I understand, your acronym means "American Movie Classics". That's a noble calling. There are a lot of classic American movies that should be shown to kids today. You know, like Imitation of Life, and Sunset Boulevard.

But Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life? Really? Come on, AMC. That hardly meets the criteria for a classic.

Unless by classic you mean the fact that Lara uses some magical orb thingy -that Alexander the Great hid in a temple, which subsequently fell into the ocean- which would lead her to Pandora's Box. Ummm, yes of course. I love movies where some culture from the past holds the key to a secret, ancient, devastating power; whereas this same culture lacked the simple power of say indoor plumbing or iron.

So really, AMC, I think you need to get back to your roots. Rethink the classics bit of American Movie Classics.

America needs you. Thanks.

Sincerely,

Ms. Laaw-yuhr, Esq.