Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Don't Honk If You Ain't Got Nothin' To Back It Up

So I live on a very busy street. It's one of the few well paved streets in NOLA and therefore it's always brimming with traffic. Since the hurricane the traffic flow has only increased and quite often there are trucks of workmen.

On Tuesdays and Thursday I head to class at 7:45 in the am. And invariably I get a honk as I'm getting in my car.
Sometimes it's a few short rapid fire honks. It's not even eight am yet and these dudes are seriously honking at me. In fact, as long as its light out, I pretty much always get a honk. Sometimes a catcall to boot.

And like a schmuck, I look up every single time. This is because every once in a while it's a friend of mine driving past who's honking to say "hello." But the other 98% of the time it's just some douche bag hassling me.

It would be one thing if I got a honk on the days I feel like I'm looking good. You know, if I sauntered out in a slinky dress or something. But no. It's not even related to how I'm actually presenting myself. Look like crap for class - get a honk. Take out the trash in my sweats - get a honk. Dresss up for clinic - get a honk. You get the idea.

And you know, it's getting to the point where the honks are really starting to grate on my nerves. Especially at 7:45 in the morning, there's nothing quite as jarring as a loud carhorn. You are an extra idiot if you bother to yell something at me at this hour, which, by the way, I cannot hear over the noise of the traffic. This is exactly the sort of thing that has a way of starting my day of on the wrong foot.

And honestly what purpose is served by the honk? Do you, honking men of NOLA, expect me to chase your car down the street in a fit of ectasy as a result of your honk? Or am I expected to take down your license plate, get a police friend to run the number, and then hunt you down? Can we truly build a relationship based on your cat call?

The answer to all of these is "No." No purpose is served by the honk. So can we have a moratorium on them? Unless you want to stop, pull over and ask me to dinner, then I think you should leave me alone.

Thank you.