Friday, October 12, 2007

Things I Could Do Without

We here at AISL have been engaged in a lot of feelings as of late. As a general rule, we do not engage in feelings. So with that said, we felt it was time to get back to our roots, get our hate on, and put the "loathing" back into Adventures in Self-Loathing.

Therefore, without further ado, I present to you my hate list or things I could do without:

E-Harmony Commercials

Every time that smug little jazz tune starts playing and that old man (who looks like he's never been laid) begins talking, it's all I can do not to let Thag rip the plug out of the socket and smash the TV on the floor. Jesus, it's been like ten years - get a new bloody song. Equally - no, I retract that - far, far more nauseating are the smug "real" couples that star in the ads. If these people aren't an inspiration for mediocrity I don't know what is. Look at these sad sacks. Love never looked more meaningless or boring.

My Crappy Movie Channels

It's a sad fact that I can't afford premium movie channels, instead I have access to the Love Movie Network, Plex, Encore, and Mystery. It seemed that while I was studying for the bar all sorts of movies that I wanted to watch were available on these crappy movie channels. Now that I'm done all that seems to be on is Another Stakeout, Blade (at least 7 times a day), and The Legend of Zorro (or Zorro Dos as I like to think of it). With choices like these, I ended up watching Hackers the other day. I remember thinking to myself "it blew when it came out, wonder how much it sucks now?" If you're unfamiliar with this screen gem from 1995 the title pretty much says it all: disaffected youth hackers (namely Johnny Lee Miller and a muy young Angelina Jolier) take on the man using computers- in the way that only out of touch Hollywood can bring it to you! Computer formulas reflected on the face? Check! Ridiculous clothing that no man, woman or hacker ever wore? Check! Useless "Hacker" tips like how to
use a pay phone for free? Check and Check! The worst part: Ebert actually gave this piece of donkey crap 3 stars. For shame!

The Grocery Store

They've stopped stocking my $0.49 Japanese coffee, the good Indian curry sauce, and Prince cookies (forcing us to buy the Mexican imitation known as Principe).

Why do you make me love products and then take them away? For shame!
I couldn't find a picture of Prince cookies.

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