Monday, September 24, 2007

Immature People Borrow; Mature People Steal

I have been inspired by both Pistols at Dawn and The Idea of Progress to write about actors that I've been told I resemble. The only problem with this amazingly great idea is that, I've never been told I resemble an actor or actress. People tell me all the time that I remind them of someone they know, but that's not quite the same thing now is it?

After racking my brain, the only celebrity I even slightly resemble would have to be Anna Nicole Smith (RIP). Sure, not from the neck up. But from the neck down during the chili-cheese fries years, not the trim-spa years, I'm a dead ringer.

I also do a mean squeal/giggle that sounds like it could emanate from an Anna Nicole-like creature. However, as a brunette, I use this power sparingly.

Since Anna Nicole was all I could come up with, I turned next to professional help with a MyHeritage celebrity collage. I, like Pistols at Dawn, genuinely don't look like a celebrity. Unlike PAD, I do however, have a great rack. Behold my profile!

I appreciate how MyHeritage uses the term "celebrity" very, very loosely. Maybe it's because I've turned thirty, but I only recognize 4 out of the 8 "celebrities" I "resemble". Who in gods name is Enid Blyton? Brody Dalle? Yamashita Tomohisa? Regardless of whoever they are, please notice how I am not more than 64% like any of them.

I am however stoked that 3/8 people I resemble are Asian. As a very tall, obviously-American, Caucasian lady, I am psyched that I can pass for another ethnicity! It's like being part of the Dave Chappelle's racial draft. Look out Tiny, you're not the only Asian in the house these days! In truth the software thinks I'm Asian because I have tiny, beady, polecat eyes, but I'm excited nevertheless.

As I stare more at the page, I think that really what everyone has in common is hair that swoops down over their eyes. In the picture I used to create this profile, my hair sweeps over the my eye on the left side of the picture, just like every celebrity I'm matched with. Really, I think this software says more about who your stylist is than who you resemble.

Still, I'm kind of digging the idea that software thinks I'm an Asian Anna Nicole Smith with a law degree. Maybe I need to redesign my icon image....

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