Saturday, September 29, 2007

Disappointment Makes for Bad Blogging

Dating, for me, has always been a spectator sport and one I don't understand well at that. It's kind of like watching Cricket on TV: I can kind of tell what's going on- you know someone's doing well because the crowd gets excited- but the rules and the strategy and really the essence of what's going on is lost on me.

And so when on one of those rare occasions that I enter the field, it's like being in one of those fish-out-of-water bad dreams. Everyone else knows the rules, knows how to play, and they're cheering me on. But I'm clueless, trying to pretend like I know what to do, and then there's somebody yelling something about a sticky wickets.

So at long last, I had a good date. A really good date. The guy was polite, and nice, and funny and cute, and considerate. He planned! He paid! We seemed to have great chemistry. He had ideas and was interesting, he seemed to be interested in me. We emailed each other to the point of ridiculousness, talking about pretty much everything.

And then, unexpectedly, nothing. No more contact. No phone call, no email, no second date.

*Sigh* I know I know. Hey, he's just not that into you. Or better to find out now than sometime down the road. [Insert appropriate aphorism here].

I tried to think if there was anything specific that I did, to put him off: Did I talk too much about myself and didn't show enough interest? Was I too reserved or too friendly? Was I inadvertently a jerk? But I think that's the road to insanity.

I think that ultimately, a person either gets you or you don't, and therefore it wouldn't be any one action that puts them off. Or at least they get you enough to know that this one (or several) crazy thing(s) you do, doesn't outweigh all the good aspects of your personality.
Maybe in a way that's worse, because that means that the rejection isn't about something isolated you can fix, its about the whole.

So in short, I haven't felt much like writing lately. Being unemployed (though trying), waiting anxiously for my bar results AND continually coming up short in the dating world? That seems a tad unfair. I also have an ingrown toenail - let's add that to the crap tally as well.

Some people would say to be all John Wayne about it and get back up on the horse. Those people will also probably tell me to go to the doctor and get my toe fixed. They're right about the toe.

As for the horse - to mix my metaphors - I think I'm just going to sit on the cricket bench for a while.

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