Saturday, July 14, 2007

Now Entering the Pupa Phase

Something strange has come over me.

This exam has taken over more than just my life, but my body as well. I'm beginning to feel like Jeff Goldblum in
The Fly where his teeth start falling out and then he enters that weird pupa phase and emerges all gross and flyey.

Let me begin by saying I am a clean person. If time is permitting, I like to bathe twice a day and brush my teeth 2-3 times per day. I even floss. However, there is evidence that I'm changing irrespective of my hygiene. The evidence:

I constantly feel greasy. EZ and I sit around constantly in our Queen Helene mint julep face masks, but that isn't even making a dent. I touch my face at any hour of the day and it feels like there's been an oil slick. Consequently, my face has broken out and I look like the before portion in an 80's teen make over movie.

Ditto with my hair -- gotta wash more often than usual. And it will be strangely greasy despite being dry. Once this is over I plan to seek extensive hair therapy. There seems to be something about the bar that makes one's body go on funk-overload, creating all sorts of things you didn't know bodies could create. I think I may be sweating more too. That could also be due to my the cocktails I've started drinking at 10:00 a.m., so it's hard to tell.***

I have also given up on dressing like a normal human being. It's all stretchy pants at this point because jeans and what not are confining. I have two pairs of stretch pants: one normal and then one that is red with yellow polka dots that resembles something Ronald McDonald would wear in his off time. I actually wore the red and yellow ones in public in college before my sister staged a massive fashion intervention with me. I changed for the better and haven't look back. However, I've taken to wearing the red and yellow pants, don't ask me why. But I do not leave the house in them. No sir.

Hopefully at the end of all of this I will emerge as a beautiful butterfly. Or a lawyer.

***Usually at the beginning of the bar review course they instruct you that you have to decide on day one of the review if you're going to stay in your relationship or not, because there is no breaking up later. That is the night to fish or cut bait because you will not have the time or mental energy to break up later and no one wants a perpetual fight over socks in the hamper to be the reason one failed the bar. Likewise, the start of barbri is NOT the time to give up your recreational/professional drug/alcohol use. Personally, I am dancing with the one who brung me: cookies and booze.

Present terror level: four bobby pins


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