Sunday, June 10, 2007

I Got Cruised By Hot Lesbians!

aka I went to Capital Pride.

It was Gay Pride this weekend in D.C., and to show my love and support for gays in general and
EZ in particular, we shipped out to the festival today near the Capitol.

At one point we were just chilling, drinking a strawberry-banana smoothie (which is both cool and gay!) when some card carrying lesbians sat down beside us. I know they were card carrying lesbians because they were wearing stickers that said "Card Carrying Lesbian". After a bit of people watching, we walked off because I wanted to get a picture of the cop car with the pride flag (3 cheers for D.C. cops who have a gay liaison unit), and EZ scampered up to me and said "Those lesbians just checked me out," referring to himself. I looked over, and the girls giggled, and I said "hmm, maybe the one on the end is straight or something."

Turns out that EZ was actually saying the hot black lesbians were checking me (Laaw-yuhr) out. And considering my luck with men, I was totally flattered. As EZ said, "Those are some of the hottest lesbians I've ever seen." And despite being gay, EZ is quite the connoisseur of the ladies. So if I ever wanted to switch teams, it's nice to know I could do pretty well.

I like to call this last picture "Gay Thinker" as it reminds me of Rodin's "The Thinker. I initially walked past this man, then doubled back and asked if I could take his picture. His friend told him to smile, and I said "No no, just sit there like you have been." Then I took the second picture and said "ok, now go ahead and smile. I enjoy the exasperated yet indulgent look on his face. Also, he looks a bit like Santa/Ernest Hemingway.

I would like to commend the straight men who attended Capital Pride. However, they need not desperately cling to their girlfriends/wives in an effort to proclaim "don't hit on me, see, I'm heterosexual!" First of all, it's arrogant to believe you're even good enough looking to get hit on, what with your ugly cargo shorts and tevas. However, given the fact that it has been released that our military wanted to invent a gay bomb, I am totally going to cut you some slack. What is a gay bomb you ask? Why it's 7.5 million government dollars spent on the development of a bomb "that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers would become irresistibly attractive to one another." I am not sure if it is more sad or frightening. It's ludicrous either way and proves exactly why gay pride is necessary.


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