Friday, July 07, 2006

Alcoholoroscopes

The last entry was much too depressing to let it fly solo over the weekend. Therefore I bring you Alcoholoroscopes, courtesy of fellow clerk/comrade in arms, KB.

The following is mine:

LEO
Drinking style
Leo likes to drink and dance -- they're often fabulous dancers, and usually pretty good drinkers as well, losing their commanding dignity and turning kittenish. Of course, they're quite aware they're darling - Leos will be Leos, after all. They generally know their limit, probably because they loathe losing self-control. When they get over-refreshed, expect flirting to ensue -- and perhaps not with the one what brung them. But Leo's not the type to break rules even when drunk, so just try to ignore it (try harder, Cancer) and expect a sheepish (and hung over) Lion to make it up to you the next day.

Hmmm, no one who knows me would ever describe me as a "fabulous dancer." But dancing certainly never happens without alcohol and then it usually involves classic moves like "The Robot," "The Shopping Cart," "The Sprinkler," etc. KB says she thinks I seem like I would be a good dancer. Unless Dance Dance Revolution counts as dancing, I am sure at some point this summer I will prove her wrong.

I do know my limit: 3 G&T's per 4 hours is usually about right. This formula varies depending on whether or not I've eaten, how long I stretch out the drinks, etc.

Flirting does not ensue as I am quite incapable, but I do get incredibly chatty, and loud (my sis will constantly tell me to "turn my volume down"). Also, after 3 G&Ts generally I start to tell my friends that I love them, that they are awesome, and then I will probably hug them as well. I don't know if this behavior qualifies so much as "darling" as much as "annoying" or "irritating."

I'm only sheepish about my behavior with people I don't know well. Otherwise, you know what you bargained for.

Get your own alcoholoroscope here. Or, for a pictoral trip of what your last outing may have been like, visit You Drunk As Hell.

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