Tuesday, November 06, 2007

AISL Officially at War with Grant Miller Media

Because everyone else is at war, I too have decided to declare a blog war.
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Grant Miller of Grant Miller Media has stepped over the line and must be stopped. What has Grant Miller done to initiate such hostilities? Grant Miller has dared to insult The Great State of Texas.

As a native of The Great State of Texas, I feel it is my duty to
REPRESENT.



Miller says "As many of you know, Texas is wasteland of art and culture. Its residents are inbred cretins teeming with fecal matter and disease. It is a worthless hell hole where no one respects art or culture unless it's painted on black velvet or magically appears on a tortilla."

I'll have you know, Grant Miller, that when you see the Virgin Mary appear to you on a tortilla it is a pretty special thing. It's the Virgin Mary for God's sake! Then you have to decide whether to call the press in to witness the miracle - or finish making your fajita. It is a tough call I tell you.

Miller also states "I hope sharing these priceless works from the Art Institute of Chicago will expand the minds of most Texans, allowing them to consider a world beyond Tex Mex restaurants, honky tonks and "Dukes Of Hazzard" reruns."

Fortunately some commentators on GMM attempted to set the record straight about a few things, but let me do so now with greater clarity: We do NOT watch "Dukes of Hazzard" as that is set in Georgia (I believe) NOT The Great State of Texas. We have four shows that we watch:

1) Dallas

2) Walker Texas Ranger

3) World's Deadliest Police Chases - 3/4 of which take place in Texas. It's bitchin to see how we stack up against the rest of the world.

4) The Dallas Cowboys

And when we're not watching those four shows, we eat Mexican food. God's gift to America is Mexican Food, and those who disagree with me have clearly never had a burrito. Granted, we don't really want so many Mexicans in Texas - but that's a whole other thing.

And as to Honky Tonks - well if we're not watchin' the Cowboys or eatin' Mesican food, we are down at the local Honky Tonk ridin' the mechanical bull. I'd wager that most of you men-folk would drool at the sight of one our Texas ladies showin' the bull how it's done. If that ain't culture - well hell, you tell me how that's different from a naked painting?

So take that Grant Miller Media. I think I've demonstrated that The Great State of Texas is anything but what you described.


Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go ride my horse and shoot my pistols in the air.


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