Wednesday, October 31, 2007

No Halloween for Me

I'm sorry to disappoint everyone, but there will be no Halloween for me this year. I'm making a semi-emergency trip to New York this evening so there will be no slutty-candy happiness. And, OK, actually, there wasn't going to be any Major Tease or Texas Hold 'Em anyway. I generally struggle with showing an appropriate amount of cleavage, so Halloween isn't much of a novelty for me. By way of example, I present the following pictures.

The first picture is a dress I ordered. Notice how it looks perfectly normal on line.













The second (rather poorly shot) picture is this dress as it appears on me.










You may notice how the dress takes on a slightly unintended pornographic look when I wear it.

The last time I participated in Halloween, I went as an Oracle and wore a non-slutty toga (left over from my high school Latin days - don't ask) and carried a magic eight ball. When, after explaining my costume, and the 200th drunken guy replied "Well I see you in my pants" I pretty much decided I was altogether over Halloween.

However, Halloween is one of the High Holidays for the gays, and in that spirit of celebration, I went with my gays (ok, really just EZ and his friends) last night to see the D.C. High Heel Race. This is where the drag queens kick of the Halloween festivities by running two blocks in full drag. It lasts for all of 20 seconds, but it is pretty hillarious to see a throng of drag queens wobbling down the street at full tilt.

Best Costume? A drag queen pushing a Larry Craig look-a-like on a toilet. Priceless.



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