Thursday, May 04, 2006

Deja Vu All Over Again

When Yogi Berra is right, things must be horribly, horribly wrong. In this case, I'm referring to my university, hurricanes, and hurricane preparedness plans.

This morning in my in-box there was a shiny new email telling us that the university has revised its hurricane plan post Katrina. This is good news because before Katrina there was pretty much no plan other than "flee people, flee!" which to me seems a plan from a Samuel L. Jackson movie.

I can just see him yelling this in say,
Deep Blue Sea: "A shark ate me. Now flee people, flee! Or maybe Pulp Fiction: "I just shot Marvin in the face. Now flee, bitches!"

While simple in its approach, The Samuel L. Jackson plan does seem to cry out for a bit more fleshing out. This new plan, let's call it Jackson II, has added a new layer to the original plan: this time let's make a plan. However, under no circumstances will we make the plan in a timely fashion.

That's right, the new plan consists of the university administration informing the other departments of the university that they "are now required to develop a departmental plan of procedures to prepare for the possible strike of a hurricane." POSSIBLE? Are you KIDDING me? Right now the levies are in such disrepair that if the ocean throws us so much as a hurricane fart the city will flood.

But back to timeliness. The administration made this announcement mid-april. Hurricane season begins JUNE 1st. Do you think we could have started on the plan to make a plan (aka Jackson II), oh just a touch sooner? Since there is pretty much zero time to make such plan, I think we can pretty much expect the final plan to fall somewhere along lines of Jackson I and be pretty sucktacular.

Hey, but they are making it mandatory to have a plan. Wow, good job guys! Supposedly all plans were to be due by May 1, which only confirms my hypothesis that the plans must suck. Shit people, we had like 6 months to be thinking about this and to getting things really together, so instead we'll spend two weeks. Yes, clearly, that will be sufficient. I want to know what was so much more important than this? Was it firining people over the internet or figuring out how to effectively embezzle money?

In either case, when the shit hits the fan, rest assured I'll be employing the original Sam Jackson plan and head straight back to Texas. See ya'll soon, no doubt.

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