That's Right, I Eat Water On My Cereal

Ok, look, I can only have so much dairy.

When I was little I was totally allergic to milk and had to take dairy supplements until the doctor made me get weaned back onto milk. I remember this only vaguely. I do remember complaining that I wanted to eat cereal and he told me to eat it with orange juice. Now that, I assure you, is freaking disgusting. What this ended up meaning is that I did not eat much cereal as a kid.

As an adult, I have rediscovered my love of cereal, but I must still moderate dairy. So do I have the milk in my coffee or on my cereal? I prefer it in my coffee. Which means that I had to come up with some sort of substitute. Orange juice is clearly out, and soy milk is kind of like drinking silt. So what's wrong with water? I mean, I eat either Special K Red Berry or Frosted mini-wheats and you put cold water on it and it's almost as good as milk. Notice, I say *almost*.

So somehow this came up in conversation the other day and by people's reactions you would have thought I told them that I have a vestigal tail. Ok, bad example, as I do have two webbed toes. Let me try again: based on the horrified reaction of my friends, you would have thought I told them I like to eat the ground up bones of my enemies on my cereal.

Look people, I eat water on my cereal. I do it proud too. Love me, and love my webbed toes and my water-on-my-cereal-eatin' ways.