Wednesday, May 09, 2007

My Most Important Post Ever: The Grant Miller Interview

Yesterday I completed my last acts as a law student, and while that is a momentous occasion -and the culmination of three years of hard work- it's nothing to the fact that the one and only Grant Miller has deemed me worthy of an interview. Behold!

Grant Miller: You, along with vikkitikkitavi and Coaster Punchman, were among the first people to link to Grant Miller Media. What are your thoughts of those early days at Grant Miller Media?

Laawyuhr: Grant Miller Media (which back in the early days was known as The Official Site of Grant Miller) was like a shining light in a land of darkness. I saw the light and the light was good.

Also, you promised me a pony.

GM: You have a legal background. Why does America need more attorneys?

L: Because the terrorists hate our freedom.

GM: What do you have against chick flicks?

L: I am morally opposed to films where chicks un-ironically sing into a hairbrush to a song like “It’s raining men” or “RESPECT.” Or the lead(s) does something wacky to take just one more chance on love! Wacky!

But I still have a uterus, so I am required to like a certain percentage of chick flicks, although I like explosions just as much. I count among chick-flicks I like: The Princess Bride, Strictly Ballroom, and the A&E Pride and Prejudice (Keira Knightly can suck it) because Colin Firth in period dress makes me feel all swoony.

GM: You're given an endless supply of money. What's the first stupid infomercial product you would buy and why?

L: Oh my god, how can I choose?! Will it be Jonathan Antin’s worthless hair products? Will it be the Hercules hook? The

Forearm forklift?

Ah, I think it would have to be the Pancake Puff Pan! Haven't you ever had the compulsion to make tiny pancakes that could then be infused with a creamy center(using the "filing injector")? No? Well, clearly you don't smoke weed. Neither do I, yet I still have the compusion to make tiny, delicious pancakes with an assortment of filings. Mmmm. Your imagination is your only limitation!

My favorite part is that the kit comes with FREE "turning sticks" which are known in the rest of the world as "bamboo skewers".

GM: Why should people read your blog?

L: Because if you don't I'll be forced to use MySpace or Facebook, and we all know that's a slippery slope away from writing about relationships and using happy face/sad face to let you know my complex moods.

P.S. I'll be on brief hiatus for the next week as I'll be getting the nose fetus removed.

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