Come On Feel the Snobbery

As everyone who knows him knows, EZ is a snob. But it's the fun kind of snobbery - like owning a persnickety cat that will only eat its food from a crystal dish. EZ is no different, prefering his food on a porcelain plate (never stoneware!), his water served from a personal carafe, and his wine from a bottle. With many people this would be annoying, with EZ it is rather hilarious.

Knowing his predilections, I forwarded him this article from slate on the merits of box and jug wine. If nothing else, I was thinking in advance to mardi gras where, because of EZ, we drag glass bottles, albeit doubles, of French wine to the parades. In his defense, I much prefer the wine because it packs more of a punch for its volume than beer. That and our first year I got to see Tiny rip the cork from a bottle (that was almost as big as she is) with her teeth. That alone made it worth hauling those damn bottles to the edge of the French Quarter.

But I've digressed. In response to the slate article EZ sent me the following email:

I am fully aware of the claims that there are now drinkable box wines. This does nothing to tame my contempt for them and the people who swear by them. You clearly have misunderstood my greatest objection to that shit. If it doesn't have enough dignity to package itself in a traditional, self-respecting glass bottle, I don't care if it's any good. I refuse to have a cardboard box of wine in my house or to contribute to the gentrification of something so unabashedly white trash. The cardboard box completely defeats the pleasure of the experience. A glass bottle and a cork is not too much to ask for. Wine in a box, especially decent wine, is like eating a gourmet dinner on paper plates with a plastic spork.

And give me a break, single serving wine boxes! I could understand if they were made to be poured into a glass (I might even buy them), but just drinking the shit with a straw straight out of the box like a caprisun!? Give me a fucking break. I'm with the Frenchies all the way on this one. If you're grown up enough to drink the shit, then you should be grown up enough to be able use a cork screw and pour it into a wine glass like a civilized person.

Wouldn't you be amused if you received such an email?