Wednesday, May 17, 2006


Ever since the hurricane, my school email account has been plagued by spam. I keep reporting the spam to my system administrator as requested, but it does no good. Just one more way my school sucks. But every once in a while the sheer ridiculousness of the spam amuses me. Take today's sample, courtesy of one Chang Simpson:

-S'ensationall revoolution in m'edicine!

-E'n'l'a'r'g'e your p''enis up to 10 cm or up to 4 inches!

-It's herbal solution what hasn't side effect, but has 100% guaranted results!

-Don't lose your chance and but know wihtout doubts, you will be impressed with results!

Clisk here:

decry cocktail ginseng flabby wrangle hostess behead ambassador turbinate thug urgency bedroom circumflex clerk bayesian handshake spaulding knuckleball envoyconcordant dreamboat margin reserpine cheap eigenspace channel fruit thayer chunk aeneas bamboo persevere trivia throaty baseband singlet dart homicidal presence manpower dewdrop seance debugger leadsman labour kirov casualty sweet arteriosclerosis regimen sparling yankton kerosene heterostructure

I'm not sure what I like best about this email. The fact that I don't have a penis and that nonetheless I have been targeted for this marketing campaign? The gross misspellings, abuse of punctuation, and general disregard for and cavalier use of the English language? Or the stream-of-conscious-beat poem that follows the ad?

But somehow I think these spams bring some balance to the universe. For ever Cosmo article, Victoria's secret catalogue, etc. that make women feel insecure about themselves, there's a spam email out there reminding guys that hey, your penis
could be bigger.

Personally, I would be happy if these emails were advertising a product that was concerned with keeping men from being dicks (e.g. a how-to guide on remembering your girlfriend's birthday) rather than increasing the size of it.

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