Tuesday, May 16, 2006

6 Weird Things About Me

Oh, my friends, you are always making me do things. This time you're making me play the "6 weird things about myself" game. I am not sure if I have much to add because my blog makes it clear there are far more than 6 weird things about me. Holy hell, I wrote a blog about hoarding dill. I think the weirdness speaks for itself. However, I'm a team player, so without further ado...

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RULES: Each player of this game starts with "6 weird things/habits about yourself." People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own six weird things/habits as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose six people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" and tell them to read your blog.

1. I like to sing all the time. I prefer to take road trips by myself so that I can sing at the top of my lungs to my music and maybe listen to the same song 3 or 4 times if I so chose. I also generally sing when I walk. Sometimes I forget that I'm not by myself or that I'm singing out loud (yes, I sing in my head) and then I get really embarassed.

2. I have to pee all the time. I am 5'9" with a bladder the size of a peanut. It's like they put the wrong size model on me. My doctor says that I pee a lot because I drink too much caffeine which is bullshit since I've been like this since I was too small to know the deliscious elixir of caffeine. On the upside, I don't generally stay drunk long* as I pee twice and I'm sober.
*drunk meaning having a reasonable amount of alcohol. If I have had 6 or more drinks in less than 2 hours, I am not going to sober up and you will probably find me napping in the corner.

Note: Since I have to pee all the time, and I like to sing all the time, perhaps I should combine these two er...talents? This reminds me of a similar story -a performer at the Moulin Rouge called "Le Petomane."

3. I like to cook, I hate to buy groceries. The grocery store makes me insane. Invariably I forget something, things are never organized properly, and it always takes me forever to get ten things. I used to cook a weekly dinner for my friends and I would always drag Steftastic Stef with me to mitigate the evil of the g-store.

4. Gay men love me. Seriously. They love me. You won't believe me, but walk with me through the gayborhood because gay men come out of the woodwork to talk to me. EZ thought I was making this up - until we walked through the West Village one day and it was like a scene out of Love Potion Number 9. It's like I give off the wrong pheromones.
N.B.: I also have straight male friends who I love and adore too. No diss to you guys intended.

5. People tell me things. People I don't know well ,or sometimes at all, are always pulling me aside and telling me their innermost secrets. I have no idea why this is and it's often things I really, really don't want to know. I have been told that I have "nice eyes" that make me always seem friendly so I've called this the "dolphin eye" effect. Meaning, dolphins look like they're smiling so we like them. Similarly, my eyes make me look nice, and therefore I seem to care, and consequently you will tell me things you really shouldn't. On the upside, I think it's given me good insight into people.

6. I cannot flirt. It's totally true. I am lousy at it. If I am interested in someone I will do my best to avoid him, and if by some miracle we do happen to talk I make sure not to make eye contact. To up the ante, not only will I not make eye contact, I'll pretty much stare at the ground, grin/blush like a fool, and blurt out total nonsense thereby gauranteeing no further conversations. This behavioral pattern has grown out of a fear of being "obvious". However, I am totally witty and charming if you are:
a. someone I'm not interested in
b. a jerk
c. gay (see 4)
d. someone I barely know (see 5)

Tagged: Big N, EZ, D, Tiny, MBabe, Rabbit (little sis). Those of you who have been tagged: if you lack your own blog, just fill in in the comments section here. Anyone else not tagged, please feel free to participate as well.

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