Thursday, December 01, 2005

Ode to a Sandwhich (aka A Valediction Forbidding Eating)

As we approach exam time, I am sad to say the thrills in my life have become far less thrilling. In fact they are almost non-existent. The most exciting thing I have had to wrap my brain around is this sandwich that my friend ate the other day known as the "Veggies, Provolone & Hummus".


Frank Gehry No Longer Allowed
to Make Sandwhiches for
Grandkids

In my book, we are already off to a bad start. It gets worse… "on whole wheat with curry mayonnaise"

Curry Mayonnaise and Hummus? Hummus and Provolone? But wait! There's more! I have not listed the veggies:

green peppers
lettuce
red onion
and SWEET POTATOES

Sweet Potatoes, cheese, hummus, green peppers, curry oh my!

This is the sort of sandwich one comes up with when stoned. Or on mescalin. All that's missing is a side order of paranoia.

The best part is that this sandwich comes prepackaged – which implies that there are people that enjoy this particular sandwich and have bought enough to keep the company in production of said sandwich.

My friend, who is an easy going sort of person, ate this sandwich in its entirety though not liking it one bit. I encouraged her to toss it, and yet she finished it, which she later regretted as it made her a bit ill.

Why keep eating it? Why? Like Superstring Theory, the evolution of the flagella, and the nature of the human soul, this is one of the many things I do not understand.

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