Saturday, March 05, 2005

I got pink eye like it was my job

So after class, me (Texas), Pants, Tiny, EZ, Big N, Candy Girl and Slim all roll to lunch at the campus watering hole. Candy Girl shares with us that this morning before class that she had a major nose bleed. I advised her to stop doing so much coke to stay up for her papers. Anyway, she was in the bathroom with kleenex shoved up her nose trying to get it to stop and got a lot of funny looks from the other girls. You would think that the sex that bleeds regularly once a month wouldn't be troubled by a little nose bleed, but whatever.

At any rate, one girl says "Oh you poor thing, have you got a nose bleed?" Candy Girl says "Yeah, and if I could only get pink eye, it would be like I was eight again." This humor was wasted on the girl who just gave her a strange look and evaporated.

Pants asks, "What's pink eye?"
Candy Girl: "Oh shit, when I was a kid, I had pink eye like it was my job. It's this eye infection where it gets all swolen and crusty and you have to use a warm wash cloth to clean off the crud so you can open your eye when you wake up in the morning."

Then Slim blew us all away.

Slim: "I had to do the same thing once, but it wasn't for pink eye. I had this crazy sinus infection and I flew on the airplane and at one point i sneezed and then mucus started coming out of my eyeballs. I didn't even know it had happened until my boyfriend told me I needed to wipe my eyes because he was going to throw up. "

We were all stunned, but then followed with a flurry of questions.

Texas: "Was it coming out of your tear duct or actually your eye balls?"
Slim: "No, my eye ball."

I think it must have been coming out of the duct because I think it's connected to your sinnuses, but it's amazingly gross either way. My sushi did not look so good at this point -- it just looked like big chunks of mucus wrapped in rice.

Slim continued: "When I got of the plane, my boyfriend's friend, who we were meeting saw me and said 'Whoah, what happened to your face. My eyes were all swollen and my face was read, I mean, I know I looked gross."
Pants: "how far did the mucus shoot out?"
Slim: "I don't know."
Big N: "How long were you sick?"
Slim: "For like a week. For the flight back I took a ton of decongestants because I didn't want it to happen again."

Anyway, there were more questions and conversation, but that's all I remember. The thought of mucus coming out of the ol eyeballs is simutaneously repulsive and fascinating. Much like a baby with an extra head.
Make sure to watch the slide show.

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