We're not gonna watch the Oscars, we're gonna work.

If you read the title of this, you know it's a lie.

So we have a massive paper, the appellate brief due next Thursday, It's 25 pages of pure , abject legal misery. It may give me an ulcer. At any rate, me (Texas), Pants, Candy Girl, and Tiny were all going to be done with it Oscar weekend. Yeah, right. So it's Sunday and we're all at school working hard and then Pants says let's go to the lounge and just watch the oscar pre-show.

For future reference please note that Pants is always the weak link.

So since it's all ladies in the study room and anything is better than workin, we roll to the lounge to check out the pre-show. The only channel available though has Star Jones. She was terrible. She basically asked every actor who has kids if he/she would mind if his/her child becomes an actor. The acting equivalent of "If you were a tree what kind of tree would you be?".

So finally the Star Jones horror comes to an end, and Pants suggests that we should stay and watch Chris Rock's opening number. Again, this is better than work, so we ladies readily agree. And then, the lounge betrays us! The f***ing parental lock engages because the Oscars are PG, and we are not going to be able to see Chris Rock's opener! We look at each other in horror and then rush to my house because I have the best setup for parties. En route, we call our sickly man-friend EZ knowing that he wants to hang with the girls and watch the Oscars. He rivals Pants in his fashion knowledge. Though he has been "Dying on the Vine" as my mother would say, he seems to experience a miracle cure, and manages to spring into his car and fly to mi casa. Fortunately we miss none of the Oscars.

The comment of the evening goes to Pants. When Beyoncé comes out in the black dress wearing practically her body weight in diamonds, Pants starts shaking her head and says "See, that's the problem with new money -- they just don't know when to quit." This cracks us up, because Pants is ethnic and is first generation American and has a fondness for LV and Manolos. E.g. new money. Halle Berry would be proud.