The Best and The Brightest - Then Again Maybe Not

Every so often I like to gather together all the brilliant little things I've discovered on the internet and share. Just one more way I say, "I Love you."



Words and Stuff:

How to Write Screenplays. Badly. -I especially enjoy the entry On Generating Ideas.

Man vs. Clown -this guy is quite amusing, especially his series on "Things I shouldn't have said." Of course, this phrase might apply to his whole blog as this guy recently got sacked when his employer discovered this little gem.

The Ups and Downs of Boobs and Things -Stories from a bra shop. I especially enjoy this story and this story about women who come to have a fitting after seeing the Oprah special on women not having a proper bra. One more nail in the Oprah coffin as far as I'm concerned (I hate Oprah).

Quizlaw -how the hell other law students don't know about this, I have no idea. Seriously.



If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a picture plus some words must be worth more. Check these out:

Indexed - graphs + funny = good. Too bad math was never this fun. In fact, math was more like stepping on rusty nails.

The "blog" of "unnecessary" quotation marks - the name speaks for itself. Appealing for all grammar-nazis.

Sketchblog -I really like the raccoon animation. And her pics of Theseus and Hippolyta.

A Dress A Day -a must view for Project Runway addicts like moi.



Things that might/ will probably offend you:

Steve Don't Eat It -hillarious and disgusting all in equal measure. The entry on infected corn, aka Devil Poop, is my favorite.

A proposal for Christian Pornography -this is courtesy of RitaLaGuam, who got it from Mye, and Mye got it from DJ. I call this the transitive property of responsibility. That is, I am absolving myself of responsibility for this entry and blaming it on my friends.

32% Neurotic And Holding

A while back a friend of mine sent me this nifty link to get a personality test. I find these items to generally be entertaining rather than accurate. I would just like to point out that my friend's results showed her to be 93% neurotic, so being 32% neurotic must be fairly low in the scheme of things. Then again, this profile makes me seem about as exciting as a saltine.





My Personality

Neuroticism	32
Extraversion	83
Openness To Experience	66
Agreeableness	68
Conscientiousness

You are sociable, outgoing, energetic, and lively. You prefer to be around people much of the time. You are generally calm and composed, reacting moderately well to situations that most people would describe as stressful. A desire for tradition does not prevent you from trying new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual. You have a strong interest in others' needs and well-being. You are pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative. You are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled.


In case my full personality profile intriques you, it is as follows. See what you agree with:

Neuroticism

Overall Score	32
Anxiety	39
Anger	13
Depression	26
Self-Consciousness	66
Immoderation	42
Vulnerability	43

You are generally calm and composed, reacting moderately well to situations that most people would describe as stressful. You are generally calm, although some situations can make you feel anxious or tense. You rarely get angry and it takes a lot to make you angry. You very rarely feel depressed and are usually in a good frame of mind. You are not generally self conscious about yourself. You often resist any cravings or urges that you have, but sometimes you give in. High levels of stress can lead to you feeling panic or confusion, but usually you cope with day to day pressures.

Extraversion

Overall Score	83
Friendliness	85
Gregariousness	83
Assertiveness	28
Activity Level	82
Excitement-Seeking	99
Cheerfulness	39

You are sociable, outgoing, energetic, and lively. You prefer to be around people much of the time. You genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings toward others. You make friends quickly and it is easy for you to form close, intimate relationships. You find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding, and you enjoy the excitement that crowds provide. You tend not to talk much and prefer to let others control the activities of groups. You lead a fast-paced and busy life. You move about quickly, energetically, and vigorously and are involved in many activities. You love bright lights and hustle and bustle. You are likely to take risks and seek thrills. You have a generally cheerful disposition.

Openness To Experience

Overall Score	66
Imagination	74
Artistic Interests	71
Emotionality	20
Adventurousness	61
Intellect	37
Liberalism	86

A desire for tradition does not prevent you from trying new things. Your thinking is neither simple nor complex. To others you appear to be a well-educated person but not an intellectual. Often you find the real world is too plain and ordinary for your liking, and you use fantasy as a way of creating a richer, more interesting world for yourself. You love beauty, both in art and in nature. Sometimes you become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. You tend not to express your emotions openly and are sometimes not even aware of your own feelings. Familiar routines are good, but sometimes you like to spice up your life with a bit of adventure or activity. You enjoy a certain amount of debate or intellectual thought, but sometimes get bored with too much. Often you exhibit a readiness to challenge authority, convention, and traditional values. Sometimes you feel a certain degree of hostility toward rules and perhaps even enjoy ambiguity.

Agreeableness

Overall Score	68
Trust	58
Morality	83
Altruism	66
Cooperation	54
Modesty	60
Sympathy	55

You have a strong interest in others' needs and well-being. You are pleasant, sympathetic, and cooperative. You mostly assume that people are honest and fair, however you are wary and hold back from trusting people completely. You see no need for pretense or manipulation when dealing with others and are therefore candid, frank and sincere. People find it relatively easy to relate to you. You will help others if they are in need. If people ask for too much of your time you feel that they are imposing on you. You do not enjoy confrontation, but you will stand up for yourself or push your point if you feel it is important. You are willing to take credit for good things that you do but you don't often talk yourself up much. You are mostly a compassionate person, however you prefer to make objective judgments when possible.

Conscientiousness

Overall Score	45
Self-Efficacy	21
Orderliness	75
Dutifulness	44
Achievement-Striving	26
Self-Discipline	33
Cautiousness	59

You are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled. Often you do not feel effective, and may have a sense that you are not in control of your life. You are well-organized and like to live according to routines and schedules. Often you will keep lists and make plans. You sense of duty and obligation is average and although you are mostly responsible you can sometimes be unreliable. You are content to get by with a minimal amount of work, and might be seen by others as lazy. You have a reasonable amount of will-power and are able to follow through on tasks that you feel you need to complete. You can be distracted however and have been known to procrastinate. You are not an overly cautious person. You will think about alternatives and consequences but make up your mind fairly quickly.

Sad, Odd, and Definitely More Than Cosmetic

Man rejects first penis transplant
Ian Sample, science correspondent
Monday September 18 2006
The Guardian


Chinese surgeons have performed the world's first penis transplant on a man whose organ was damaged beyond repair in an accident this year. The incident left the man with a 1cm-long stump with which he was unable to urinate or have sexual intercourse. "His quality of life was affected severely," said Dr Weilie Hu, a surgeon at Guangzhou General Hospital.

Doctors spent 15 hours attaching a 10cm penis to the 44-year-old patient after the parents of a brain-dead man half his age agreed to donate their son's organ.

The procedure, described in a case study due to appear in the journal European Urology next month, represents a big leap forward in transplant surgery; it required complex microsurgery to connect nerves and tiny blood vessels.

The surgical team claims the operation was a success. After 10 days, tests revealed the organ had a rich blood supply and the man was able to urinate normally.

Doctors have previously succeeded in reuniting men with their sexual organs after traumatic accidents or attacks, but the Guangzhou operation is the first in which a donor penis has successfully been attached to another man.

Although the operation was a surgical success, surgeons said they had to remove the penis two weeks later. "Because of a severe psychological problem of the recipient and his wife, the transplanted penis regretfully had to be cut off," Dr Hu said. An examination of the organ showed no signs of it being rejected by the body.

Jean-Michel Dubernard, the French surgeon who performed the world's first face transplant on a woman who had been attacked by a dog this year, said psychological factors were a serious issue for many patients receiving certain "allografts", or organs from donors. "Psychological consequences of hand and face allografts show that it is not so easy to use and see permanently a dead person's hands, nor is it easy to look in a mirror to see a dead person's face," he wrote in the journal. "Clearly, in the Chinese case the failure at a very early stage was first psychological. It involved the recipient's wife and raised many questions."

In 2001, surgeons were forced to amputate the world's first transplanted hand from Clint Hallam, a 50-year-old New Zealander, who said he wanted the "hideous and withered" hand removed because he had become "mentally detached" from it. The original transplant was conducted by Prof Dubernard's team at the Edouard Herriot Hospital in Lyons, who have since performed the world's first double arm transplant.

Andrew George, a transplant expert at Imperial College, London, said: "Doing a penis transplant should be no more complex than anything else. But it takes time for nerve sensations to kick in and it's not clear whether the patient would ever be able to have sex with it. The question is whether it's right to be doing a transplant for what may be seen as cosmetic reasons."

Sort of Like Lent, But With No Going Back

I have decided to give up my most beloved curse-word, "Fucktard" by the end of the month.

I have only relatively recently discovered this word, since starting lawschool in fact, and found that it so perfectly described my feelings about certain individuals and their, well, fucktardery or perhaps, fucktardedness. And I admit that everytime I use the word in any form, I giggle. Especially when I think of this article, or really, just this picture.

It has been pointed out that this word, by incorporating "tard" is insensitive. And after some reflection, I find this assertion to be true, so in the interest of being a somewhat better human being, I have decided to give it up before it becomes completely ingrained in my vocabulary.

Think of me as the kinder, gentler, Laaw-yuhr. Laaw-yuhr 2.0, if you will.

Note for the record: I am refusing to give up Sorostitute, FAF, and fagnet. Hey, I just said I wanted to be a better person, not necessarily a goody goody.

Bitchiness

As avid fans of Project Runway, it only stands to reason that EZ and I are also fans of The Sartorialist.

To give credit where credit is due, The Sartorialist is sort of the Vogue of fashion blogs, but it stilll maintains an indie feel. It's run by one guy who shoots his own photos of the well dressed on the streets of New York. It's nice to see photos of everyday people who display a certain flair for fashion and I appreciate that he does include a range of folk, not just rail-thin fashonistas.

However, from time to time Sarty leads us astray, as in the photo posted at left, showing a necklace made by the girl pictured.

EZ said "It looks like a sea urchin died around her neck."

We found this comment to be both apt and witty, and EZ tried to post it as a comment. But surprisingly, Sarty was being bitchy, and he refused to approve the post!

So that EZ's comment is not like the proverbial tree in the forest, I decided to post it myself.

My Copycode Makes Me Cool

My clinic copy code is 0007 -- that's Triple-O-Seven to you mere mortals.

Clearly, I am a badass.

License to kill or license to copy?

Southern Decadence

The other night I went to Southern Decadence.

For those of you who don't know, Southern Decadence is basically gay Mardi Gras. I had heard the lore, but never attended, so it seemed that for my final year in NOLA I should check it out. The quarter was indeed brimming with leather-harness-wearing-men, lesbians, trannies, and drag queens and I did find it to be the best people watching ever. Last year Katrina hit the weekend of Southern Decadence and I have been told that attendance this year was significantly down. I believe this estimate to be true as Bourbon was not nearly as crowded as I expected. It seems that the freakness was also proportionately smaller as there were no 60 year old men with nipple clamps and boas as, according to reports, were in attendance the year before Katrina. I was somewhat disappointed by the low turnout, but then again there was enough inappropriate thong-wearing to last me a life time.

As previously mentioned, my powers with gay men are great, but I thought that in such a large group, they would be diminshed, but lo and behold, they were not. My friends and I were in the street deciding which club we were going to enter when a spandex clad gent sees me and then proceeds to deck me and me alone in his silver mardi gras beads. I thank you sir, because clearly I was not glittery enough for the festivities.

The interior of the club proved to be equally exciting, albeit crowded, and about 5 minutes on the dance floor was plenty. You haven't lived until you've heard the Pussy Cat Dolls' excuse for music "Stick Wit U" remixed and throbbing at a billion decibels while surrounded by a throng of gyrating, shirtless, sweaty men. And there's nothing like anonymous back sweat in the 90 degree heat. After abandoning the dance floor I noticed a friend has sent me a text message and as I was replying a boy sauntered up to me and shouted "Honey, who are you texting? I'm right here!" If only straight men in bars were as clever! My friends Tiny and Candy Girl joined me soon thereafter where a very drunk and confused gay boy tried to freak Tiny. We are hope that he was merely drunk and confused rather than thinking we were trannies.

Sometime around 3am we abandoned the club, now thoroughly sweaty and deaf and headed to Cafe du Monde for late night beignets. Conversation was rather lacking as were so deaf we spent the next half hour basically just shouting "WHAT?" at each other.

My ears were still ringing the next morning, which is surely the sign of an excellent evening.

You So Old

One sign of post-Katrina revitalization has been the reopening of the Broadway Food Mart - a mere 3 block walk from my house. This handy bodega provides for most party needs as they sell ice, chips, and hard liquor just a jaunt down the street. One of my favorite exam time procrastination tactics was to walk to the foodmart to get gum or something else I didn't really need.

So it was to my immense pleasure that the food mart re-opened, as I had immediate need of its goods for our weekly Project Runway viewing party. I had decided to make this mango aqua fresca cocktail, which required either mandarin or citron vodka. How happy I was to find that Broadway Food Mart carries both!

The lady who runs it is an older ,and I believe Vietnamese lady, who is quite nice but lacks volume control. When I entered the foodmart she was shouting with a customer,
"YOU NEED SPEND MONEY ON LOTTERY TICKETS!"
Customer: "No, you should spend yo money on lottery tickets!"

Then they both laughed. I don't know what that was about. I asked for my vodka and the lady asked for my ID.

She started at my license and then shouted " '77* YOU SO OLD!" which I'll admit, was fairly devastating.

Then she dropped her voice a bit, which for her I think might have been a whisper "But you look 18-19. You look gooooood. Whatever you do, keep doing it!"

"Um, thanks," I said slightly stunned.

Maybe this is why the 24 year olds hit on me?
__________________________
*1977 is the year of my birth. I believe it is also the year of the snake.

Additionally, no disrespect is intended from dialect representation, it is merely descriptive. I do not really speak any other languages, and I admire anyone who can.